The Secrets to a Good Marriage

Would you like to know the secrets to a GOOD MARRIAGE?
Would you like to know how to maintain emotional intimacy?
Would you like to know how to rekindle sexual flames?
Would you like to know how to really communicate with your partner?
Would you like to know how to teach your partner exactly how to treat you?

These are a few small questions that pack BIG answers for the health and longevity of your relationship.

Call me to set up an appointment- I'll let you in on these secrets!

What is your DREAM?

The counseling process is not just for those who struggle with monumental life issues- it is for everyone and anyone who has a dream they want to fulfill or a focus of desire for a better life.

What is your Desire? What is your Dream?

- A better marriage?
- A better relationship with your children?
- A better work environment?
- Better management of your anger?
- Better management of your grief?
- Recovery from trauma?
- Higher self-esteem?
- More assertiveness and self-respect?
- Resolve old issues?
- Maintain the hard work you've alreayd done?

Whatever your desire, or dream... YOU can achieve it!

I CAN HELP.

Family and The Holidays

When holiday time comes around, we are filled with joy. The anticipation of parties, spending time with friends, giving and receiving gifts, and the general sense of cheerfulness is overwhleming and welcome.

However, for some of us, the holidays are a time when we are faced with old demons, unfinished business, and residual pain. We realize that we are going to be placed in situations that involve our families of origin (mother, father, siblings). We may feel forced, either by feelings of obligation or manipulation, to spend time with people who push our buttons. We can often feel like victims in these situations and forget that we have the power to make the gathering enjoyable regardless of the issues present in our lives.

Family issues can be terribly tricky and confusing. The holidays are a time when we try to make things seem great when sometimes they are just the opposite. We can be easily triggered by old behavioral patterns and fall back into dysfunction.

I'd like to offer some ways to help you enforce your personal boundaries and go into those family gatherings with more self-assuredness, more assertiveness, and be able to leave feeling victorious and whole rather than victimized and disintegrated.

1). Talk about things YOU feel comfortable talking about. Remember that you are an adult and are free to make your own decisions about what you will and won't share.
2). Place yourself near people you trust, enjoy, and feel safe with. If you feel you are being pushed into a corner with someone who triggers your issues, politely excuse yourself to a surrounding that welcomes you.
3). Have an idea of how much time you want to spend with family and let them know that you will be arriving/leaving around those time parameters. Planning ahead will help you feel in control. And making your own decisions known will foster respect from others.
4). Remember that you are an adult and you get to choose if you want to allow someone's words to penetrate you or not. Even when it is difficult, remind yourself that you are there to have a nice time and you don't have to let anyone spoil it for you.
5). Give yourself a pep talk before you leave for the gathering and get support from someone joining you or from someone who you will meet there. Knowing someone is on your side always feels good.
6). Remember to respect yourself and others. Even if you are faced with someone who is toxic for you, get out of the situation and start anew. You will feel better about yourself knowing that you remained honest about your thoughts and feelings while being considerate of yourself and others.
7). You get to decide if you want to be a part of the holiday festivities or not. Use your best judgement. If you think it will be too painful or difficult for you to handle, then make your own holiday plans with people you feel loved and supported by.

Some people in our families of origin are, unfortunately, never going to be safe enough for us to have healthy relationships with. If you think this might be your situation or if you find that you really struggle with family of origin relationships, seeking counseling could help you. Please contact me if you need help.

NEW PHONE NUMBER

I have just gotten a new office phone number.
You may contact me at 972-567-5000.

You may still be able to call the old # and get my voicemail, although
I cannot check messages or return calls from that phone number.

Thanks and I look forward to hearing from you!

Sincerely,
Karen Ray Israel, M.Ed., LPC, BCPC