New Year- New Life!

As we near the end of 2007 and the bright beginning of 2008, talk of the New Year's resolution bubbles up.

What gifts will your new year hold?
What relationship will you work on mending?
What dream will you try to bring to reality?
What wrong will you make right?
What opportunity will you take?
What challenge will you face with courage?
What personal quest will you embark upon?

Whatever your New Year's resolution will be,

I can help you find the secret to making it happen!

START NOW!

Make your Choice

Finding the courage to take responsibility for yourself and change your life is one of the greatest human challenges you may face. You have accumulated habits and beliefs that have shaped and continue to shape every single relationship you embark upon. Your experiences, starting in early childhood up to the moment before you read this sentence, have the power to leave lasting impacts. Some of these have been incredible and have changed you for the better… and some have marked you terribly.

I now offer you a choice; and perhaps one you never thought of before. Do you want to stay the way you are, missing vital pieces of happiness? Or do you want to find your inherent control and power that can help you heal from old wounds and persevere?

You do have a choice, and I’d like to help you see it.

Manage Your Anger

Anger is a necessary and important emotion we have that lets us know when something is wrong or we've been violated in some way. However, anger can turn into volatile rage when it's not managed properly.

Do you notice these tendencies in your daily life?

1. Easily irritable
2. Prone to road rage
3. Frequent headaches
4. Frequent stomach aches
5. Difficulty sleeping
6. Others distancing themselves from you when you show your anger
7. Rage attacks- throwing things or hitting things/people/yourself when you get overly angry
8. Blackouts after rage attacks
9. Predominant sarcasm
10. Habitual lateness
11. Procrastination
12. Predominant boredom
13. Depression

These are just a few possible symptoms of suppressed anger that can at least make your life less than content and at most turn into damaging rage.

If you identify with any of these, please call me.

I can help you.

The Secrets to a Good Marriage

Would you like to know the secrets to a GOOD MARRIAGE?
Would you like to know how to maintain emotional intimacy?
Would you like to know how to rekindle sexual flames?
Would you like to know how to really communicate with your partner?
Would you like to know how to teach your partner exactly how to treat you?

These are a few small questions that pack BIG answers for the health and longevity of your relationship.

Call me to set up an appointment- I'll let you in on these secrets!

What is your DREAM?

The counseling process is not just for those who struggle with monumental life issues- it is for everyone and anyone who has a dream they want to fulfill or a focus of desire for a better life.

What is your Desire? What is your Dream?

- A better marriage?
- A better relationship with your children?
- A better work environment?
- Better management of your anger?
- Better management of your grief?
- Recovery from trauma?
- Higher self-esteem?
- More assertiveness and self-respect?
- Resolve old issues?
- Maintain the hard work you've alreayd done?

Whatever your desire, or dream... YOU can achieve it!

I CAN HELP.

Family and The Holidays

When holiday time comes around, we are filled with joy. The anticipation of parties, spending time with friends, giving and receiving gifts, and the general sense of cheerfulness is overwhleming and welcome.

However, for some of us, the holidays are a time when we are faced with old demons, unfinished business, and residual pain. We realize that we are going to be placed in situations that involve our families of origin (mother, father, siblings). We may feel forced, either by feelings of obligation or manipulation, to spend time with people who push our buttons. We can often feel like victims in these situations and forget that we have the power to make the gathering enjoyable regardless of the issues present in our lives.

Family issues can be terribly tricky and confusing. The holidays are a time when we try to make things seem great when sometimes they are just the opposite. We can be easily triggered by old behavioral patterns and fall back into dysfunction.

I'd like to offer some ways to help you enforce your personal boundaries and go into those family gatherings with more self-assuredness, more assertiveness, and be able to leave feeling victorious and whole rather than victimized and disintegrated.

1). Talk about things YOU feel comfortable talking about. Remember that you are an adult and are free to make your own decisions about what you will and won't share.
2). Place yourself near people you trust, enjoy, and feel safe with. If you feel you are being pushed into a corner with someone who triggers your issues, politely excuse yourself to a surrounding that welcomes you.
3). Have an idea of how much time you want to spend with family and let them know that you will be arriving/leaving around those time parameters. Planning ahead will help you feel in control. And making your own decisions known will foster respect from others.
4). Remember that you are an adult and you get to choose if you want to allow someone's words to penetrate you or not. Even when it is difficult, remind yourself that you are there to have a nice time and you don't have to let anyone spoil it for you.
5). Give yourself a pep talk before you leave for the gathering and get support from someone joining you or from someone who you will meet there. Knowing someone is on your side always feels good.
6). Remember to respect yourself and others. Even if you are faced with someone who is toxic for you, get out of the situation and start anew. You will feel better about yourself knowing that you remained honest about your thoughts and feelings while being considerate of yourself and others.
7). You get to decide if you want to be a part of the holiday festivities or not. Use your best judgement. If you think it will be too painful or difficult for you to handle, then make your own holiday plans with people you feel loved and supported by.

Some people in our families of origin are, unfortunately, never going to be safe enough for us to have healthy relationships with. If you think this might be your situation or if you find that you really struggle with family of origin relationships, seeking counseling could help you. Please contact me if you need help.

NEW PHONE NUMBER

I have just gotten a new office phone number.
You may contact me at 972-567-5000.

You may still be able to call the old # and get my voicemail, although
I cannot check messages or return calls from that phone number.

Thanks and I look forward to hearing from you!

Sincerely,
Karen Ray Israel, M.Ed., LPC, BCPC

What To Expect From Counseling... and What Not To

First of all, I'd like to applaud each and every one of you who finds the courage to embark on the therapy journey. Whether your issue is small or considerable, your choice to help yourself through psychotherapy is commended!

At the beginning of the therapy relationship it is important to talk to your therapist about your expectations. You may have some realistic as well as unrealistic views of the therapy experience. Here is a list of possible unrealistic expectations that you may hold:

1. I expect to feel better immediately.
2. I expect to receive a check-list of things to do that will fix my problems.
3. I expect my therapist to take away most or all of my uncomfortable thoughts and feelings.
4. I expect a "cure".
5. I expect my therapist to make my spouse love me again/to make me fall back in love with my spouse.
6. I expect my therapist to fix my child.
7. I expect to heal within a precise and short amount of time.
8. I expect my therapist to take away my pain.
9. I expect my therapist to erase my bad/unpleasant memories.
10. I expect to change without experiencing feelings like pain, sadness, anger, or fear.

While I understand these may be some of your deepest hopes about therapy, they are unrealistic. If you hold onto these expectations during the therapy process you run the risk of changing nothing and worsening your current emotional state.

Here are some realistic expectations of the therapy experience:

1. I expect to bond with and trust my therapist.
2. I expect to learn about myself, both good and bad, and be able to take responsibility for myself.
3. I expect to receive emotional support as well as a voice of reason from my therapist.
4. I expect my therapist to be honest with me at all times.
5. I expect to be productive through hard work and ongoing learning.
6. I expect to be challenged and simultaneously reassured by my therapist.
7. I expect to be rewarded and praised for my hard work.
8. I expect to change at my own pace while being motivated to exceed that pace.
9. I expect to feel comforted and encouraged throughout my journey.
10. I expect to get out of it what I put into it.

As long as you put aside the unrealistic expectations and hold onto the realistic ones,

you will do just fine.

I'll Be Here To Help You

What Anger Does to Your Heart

Here is a short and succinct article I found on WebMD that speaks briefly about a study done comparing excessive anger and heart disease. A large percentage of my readers seem particularly interested in issues regarding anger issues and management thereof.

Men, read this article carefully, because you guys seem to be the most susceptible.

Read the Article

Cancer of the Psyche

The title of this post is a loaded comment, and one that I think ought to be taken seriously. The cancer to which I am referring is Self-Doubt.

Take a minute to think of your connection with this phenomenon and its effects.

How many opportunities have you missed out on because of it?
How many relationships have suffered because of it?
How much pointless agony has it caused you?
How many times has it caused you to second-guess yourself?
How much longer will you let it affect you?

Many of you know what it feels like to be under the thumb of self-doubt. You know what it's like to be affected by this cancer that slowly eats away at your self-esteem and confidence. The impact can range from frustrating to immobilizing. Don't let it control you!

Come See Me. I Can Help.

Sex After 40

We all live pretty hectic lives these days, but that doesn't mean that a fulfilling sex-life must be sacrificed!

Watch this informative interview with my personal collegiate acquaintance, Laura Berman, and learn the facts and statistics about women and sexuality in this day and age.

What Do You Want?

We all go through life making our choices and living the benefits and consequences of those choices. And one day, we "wake up" and wonder where we are and how we got there. Well, we made decisions and they took us on a journey. If the place you've ended up isn't the place you thought you'd be, perhaps you didn't really know what you wanted at the beginning of it all.

What do you want? Do you truly know? Or are you stuck?

One important thing that therapy offers is the opportunity to take a good, close look at you life and make changes based on what YOU want. This means analyzing your job, relationships, where you live, how you challenge yourself, and what brings you joy. And you get to choose what will make you happy and help you flourish. You don't have to live according to someone else's rules- you have a voice too! Of course it is important to remember that your decisions will impact the lives of those round you, so be considerate.

Do you feel stuck? Do you want something new in life but cannot pinpoint it?

Come See Me. I Can help.

Is Relationship Counseling For You?

Here is a short check list to help you decide if relationship counseling could help you.

1. You spend more time away from your partner than usual.
2. You argue more often and about seemingly minor things.
3. You hold grudges.
4. You don't resolve conflict successfully.
5. You have trouble talking to your partner about problems, so you bring a third party friend or family member into the mix (this is also called triangulating).
6. You bring up issues from the past that you or your partner thought were resolved.
7. You question your decision to remain in the relationship.
8. You don't feel like yourself in the relationship/you or your partner have changed for the worse.
9. You have thoughts or have acted on thoughts of infidelity.
10. You have thoughts or have acted on thoughts of separation or divorce.

If you are struggling with any of these thoughts or behaviors, your relationship is running a minimal to severe risk of collapsing.

Pay attention to your relationship and partner, and when you start to notice issues that don't get resolved, be proactive and seek counseling.

If you have waited a long time for things to get better and are feeling hopeless and discouraged about the longevity of your relationship, seek counseling.

I Am Here. I Can Help.

Season with a Reason

As we embark on a the new Autumn season, we can take cues from Mother Nature to help us reinvent our lives. Just as Autumn opens the window for Winter, the earth shrugs off the old to make room for Spring and all that is new; so may we. Let this time inspire you to end ties with behaviors, beliefs, and feelings that no longer serve you and start anew with a life that YOU choose to lead... a life full of joy, love, and peace.

Let Me Help You Begin!

Are You Doing Your Homework??

Whether you belong to the "therapy club" or are doing your personal growth work on your own, there's always homework to do. And at this school, every subject requires not an A, but an E for effort. Continuing effort to learn, grow, change, become enlightened, and Become Your Best Self!

I Believe In You!

New Professional Certification!

I'm proud and pleased to share with all of you that I have just been designated by the American Psychotherapy Association as a national Board Certified Professional Counselor.

You can view their website at http://www.americanpsychotherapy.com/about.php

This is a testament to my current and prospective clients of my commitment to the job I do- helping you Become Your Best Self!

Sincerely,

Karen Ray Israel, M.Ed., LPC, BCPC

New Client Discount!

Dear all Prospective New Clients,

I am offering a great discount on my initial diagnostic session.

Initial Diagnostic session is only $99! That's 25% off!

Subsequent weekly session fees will remain the same so please inquire about those.

This offer is good for a limited time only, so please make sure you let me know that you read this blog to receive the discount!

De-Stress and Eat Less!

Here's a great, cut-to-the-chase article I found on WebMD. If you ever struggle, a little or a lot, with keeping a healthy body as well as a healthy mind, this is the article for you. The best part is: if you can read it, you can do it!

I SUPPORT YOU 100%

Read The Article

Self Respect

http://www.dictionary.com/ defines:

re·spect - [ri-spekt] –noun
esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability: I have great respect for her judgment.

self-re·spect - [self-ri-spekt, self-] –noun
proper esteem or regard for the dignity of one's character.

One may not think of these two words much, and surely no attention to their meaning occurs in conscious thought. But the definitions shown above hold the stuff which makes me who I am and you who you are. Without self-respect, who are you?

Without self-respect you open yourself up to manipulation, exploitation, possible physical, emotional and mental abuse, and the inevitable disintegration of your self esteem. People with low self-respect could presently be or become:

• battered wives/husbands
• batterers
• doormats (easily taken advantage of)
• family scapegoat
• bullies

These people may feel:

• angry/annoyed/irritated/rageful
• resentful
• hopeless
• powerless
• depressed
• anxious

You can easily see how a lack of self-respect, in its smallest and largest forms, could change your life from healthy and productive to sickly and fruitless.

If you recognize any of these traits in yourself, don't wait until your symptoms become so confining that you sturggle to see your way out. Whether your issues are minial or monumental, I can help you overcome them.

Become Your Best Self!

Summer - The BEST Medicine!

Hurray for Summer!

Why, you may ask, am I so excited about summertime and why am I taking you along with me on my journey? Because summertime is Mother Nature's way of allowing us to safely overdose on the strongest and most potent medicine she has to give us! I'm talking about sunlight. The abundance of sunlight during the summer months (as well as spring and fall in some areas of the nation) helps bring about such wonderful healing. There is exhaustive research proving the positive effects of sunlight on our physiology as well as our psychology.

Physiclogically speaking, sunlight helps the body produce Vitamin D. This nutrient, when in ample supply in our bodies, helps prevent depression, lethargy, and sleeplessness, as well as a craving for carbohydrate-rich foods. You'll quickly notice that these symptoms are running rampant in many people during the winter months. And psychologically speaking, a mere 30 minutes out in the sun can surely turn your frown upside down! We feel better, happier, and energized.

Summertime sunlight also motivates us to get out of the house, be active, and exercise. Even at it's most mild, exercise has a tremendous effect on mood- specifically depression and anxiety. Some evidence suggests that exercise positively affects the levels of certain mood-enhancing neurotransmitters in the brain. Exercise may also boost feel-good endorphins, release tension in muscles, help you sleep better and reduce levels of the stress hormone cortisol. It also increases body temperature, which may have calming effects. All of these changes in your mind and body can improve such symptoms as sadness, anxiety, irritability, stress, fatigue, anger, self-doubt and hopelessness (Mayo Clinic, 2005).

So, you see- Summertime is here for your total gratification.

Take advantage!

Simply Put...

If you focus on what you don't want, that's what you're creating.

Focus on what you DO want!

Then it's yours for the taking!

Message of the Day

It's so easy to spot what others need to change, isn't it?

It's even easier to point it out to them.

But it's not so easy to give people the freedom they need to access the truth on their own. We think people can't see what's wrong with themselves. But as we know, we judge ourselves more than we judge others.

If there is someone in your life who just isn't "getting it", find a way to support and validate them. And if your instincts are crying out to give them a dose of cold hard truth, make sure you ladle it out with sensitivity and heart. Without that, you will only make them feel worse.

-Yehuda Berg's Daily Consciousness Tune-Up

I am here if you know anyone who may need help or is in need of change.

Pre-Marital Counseling Law?

You may have already seen this story on one of the major news stations and I thought I'd post an article which briefly explores the ramifications and implications of this proposed Pre-Marital Counseling Law.

READ THIS ARTICLE


Whatever should happen with this proposition, my opinion remains the same: entering into a marriage requires so much more than love. Pre-marital counseling can show you the truth behind every major issue that could make or break your marriage.

Have a great marriage!

I can help.

Pre-Marital Counseling

Before you say "I do", you need to make certain you know your future mate very well. You could probably learn a great deal about them just by noticing how they live their life. However, whether you learn by observation or discussion, it's best to get a clear picture of their character, lifestyle, and expectations.

My Pre-Marital program helps both partners evaluate 7 highly important core issues that can greatly affect your new marriage and the course your relationship will take. In-depth questions about lifestyle, children, faith, commitment, finances, ethics and character, and personality traits can bring pertinent concerns to light that you may have otherwise overlooked until the problem became too great to conquer.

Addressing these issues can help you determine what areas you mesh and what areas may be "red flags" that will point toward deeper communication and compromise.

Have the best marriage you can!

I can help.

Quote Of The Day

In the province of the mind,

what one believes to be true

either is true or becomes true.

-John Lilly

Quote of the Day

Challenges are gifts that force us to search for a new center of gravity.

Don't fight them.

Just find a different way to stand.

-Oprah Winfrey

Change

Sometime ago I was speaking with one of my cousins- someone who happens to be a very successful man both in his professional and personal life. We spoke of his job, and while he is a powerful decision-maker and mentor, he also often deals with the inexact science of peoples' psychological issues and how those impact their productivity at work. We talked about how those issues not only affect a person's work environment, but everything else in life as well. So how does one fix such issues...they change. And suddenly, he uttered a phrase that I haven't been able to get out of my mind....

"People aren't afraid of change... they are afraid of loss."

That is to say, we are more afraid of the consequence of change rather than the new act itself. I was astonished. All my professional life I have been focused on helping people find their strength to change, and while I had the concept down pretty well, I was never able to articulate the difficulty in change until I heard his words.

We are afraid to lose...something...anything...that previously brought us comfort, security, ease, manageability, or practicality. We look forward to the new thing we will acquire upon changing, yet have so much trouble letting go of what we must sacrifice to move closer to our goal. The goal could be minute or monumental- that doesn't matter. What matters is what we are leaving behind.

I'm not writing this to lure you into being an emotional pack-rat. I'm not trying to scare you away from reaching for your goals because a sacrifice is inevitable. I'm writing to help you see that what you sacrifice is precisely the thing you have acquired and therefore groomed to be the thing you give up for the next step. If you want to move up the ladder, you must take your foot off of the previous rung...no matter how long your foot rested and no matter the reason for it's long stay. It has served it's purpose and got you ready for your change.

There is no cause for fear.

You can embrace the new thing while you say a greatful and happy farewell to what got you there.

Change is good. Change is opportunity. Change is life. Life is change.

SEX: When Is The Right Time?

Here is a short and sweet article sure to help any adult*, either a novice at dating and sex or a seasoned veteran, make the appropriate and safe choice when deciding to begin a sexual relationship.

Adult: Regarding sexual activity; any person physically and emotionally mature to handle the consequences as well as benefits of embarking on a sexual relationship of any sort with any other consenting adult.

CLICK HERE TO READ ARTICLE

Calling All Couples!!

This is my plea to any couple that thinks that they may need counseling:

DO NOT WAIT UNTIL IT GETS SO BAD THAT YOU ARE READY TO THROW IN THE TOWEL!!
Sadly, I have come in contact with so many couples in my office whose last ditch effort starts at my door. Usually one of the partners is already emotionally detatched from the relationship and is coming in to appease their spouse. This is NOT the right way to tell your partner that you want to give your last breath to heal your relationship; it's a manipulation.

**IMPORTANT: We use all kinds of defense mechanisms and manipulations when we think we are not capable or allowed to set a verbal boundary about how we feel in the relationship. I understand this fully.

So, my message is this:

PLEASE DON'T WAIT FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO DIE BEFORE YOU TRY TO HEAL IT

SEEK HELP AT THE FIRST SIGN OF UNMANAGEABLE DISCORD

YOUR RELATIONSHIP WILL THANK YOU!

Welcome

Hello. My name is Karen Ray Israel and I am a psychotherapist serving Plano, Texas and the surrounding cities.
I welcome you.

My goal is to help individuals, couples, and families face their emotional issues with courage and strength while learning to grow and change in a motivating and safe environment.

When you are ready to make the necessary changes that can transform your life, I will be here to help you make it happen. Contact me for more information at karen.israel@gmail.com or at 972-989-8155.

Until then, I hope this site will be useful and enlightening.
-KRI

Let Me Be Your Teacher

What is a teacher?

First and foremost, a teacher is a friend, probably the most important friend you could have. Teachers are essential to our lives not because they’re so much smarter, older, or more knowledgeable about spirituality, but because they can see the heights of our potential, and they aren’t afraid to push us there.

When we feel like we’re below zero and still heading further south, our teachers can boost us back up and make us see things for what they really are. They believe in us when we don’t believe in ourselves anymore.

Teachers don’t help us so we’ll love them more, but they know that they are just a channel for positive energy and that the only way to truly help someone grow is to channel what is best for them. That’s why even when they tell us things that are difficult for us to hear or sometimes downright painful to realize, it can inspire us and make us feel great.

Essentially, they are simply plugging us back into positive energy. A true teacher understands that our soul already knows everything we could ever need to know, and they help reconnect that part of ourselves.

Please remember I am a teacher not because I am so much smarter, older, or more knowledgeable about spirituality or emotional growth, but because I can see the heights of your potential, and I am not afraid to push you there.

I hope for you to see me that way.

Excerpts taken from Yehuda Berg's Weekly Consciousness Tune-Up