Simply Put...

If you focus on what you don't want, that's what you're creating.

Focus on what you DO want!

Then it's yours for the taking!

Message of the Day

It's so easy to spot what others need to change, isn't it?

It's even easier to point it out to them.

But it's not so easy to give people the freedom they need to access the truth on their own. We think people can't see what's wrong with themselves. But as we know, we judge ourselves more than we judge others.

If there is someone in your life who just isn't "getting it", find a way to support and validate them. And if your instincts are crying out to give them a dose of cold hard truth, make sure you ladle it out with sensitivity and heart. Without that, you will only make them feel worse.

-Yehuda Berg's Daily Consciousness Tune-Up

I am here if you know anyone who may need help or is in need of change.

Pre-Marital Counseling Law?

You may have already seen this story on one of the major news stations and I thought I'd post an article which briefly explores the ramifications and implications of this proposed Pre-Marital Counseling Law.

READ THIS ARTICLE


Whatever should happen with this proposition, my opinion remains the same: entering into a marriage requires so much more than love. Pre-marital counseling can show you the truth behind every major issue that could make or break your marriage.

Have a great marriage!

I can help.

Pre-Marital Counseling

Before you say "I do", you need to make certain you know your future mate very well. You could probably learn a great deal about them just by noticing how they live their life. However, whether you learn by observation or discussion, it's best to get a clear picture of their character, lifestyle, and expectations.

My Pre-Marital program helps both partners evaluate 7 highly important core issues that can greatly affect your new marriage and the course your relationship will take. In-depth questions about lifestyle, children, faith, commitment, finances, ethics and character, and personality traits can bring pertinent concerns to light that you may have otherwise overlooked until the problem became too great to conquer.

Addressing these issues can help you determine what areas you mesh and what areas may be "red flags" that will point toward deeper communication and compromise.

Have the best marriage you can!

I can help.

Quote Of The Day

In the province of the mind,

what one believes to be true

either is true or becomes true.

-John Lilly

Quote of the Day

Challenges are gifts that force us to search for a new center of gravity.

Don't fight them.

Just find a different way to stand.

-Oprah Winfrey

Change

Sometime ago I was speaking with one of my cousins- someone who happens to be a very successful man both in his professional and personal life. We spoke of his job, and while he is a powerful decision-maker and mentor, he also often deals with the inexact science of peoples' psychological issues and how those impact their productivity at work. We talked about how those issues not only affect a person's work environment, but everything else in life as well. So how does one fix such issues...they change. And suddenly, he uttered a phrase that I haven't been able to get out of my mind....

"People aren't afraid of change... they are afraid of loss."

That is to say, we are more afraid of the consequence of change rather than the new act itself. I was astonished. All my professional life I have been focused on helping people find their strength to change, and while I had the concept down pretty well, I was never able to articulate the difficulty in change until I heard his words.

We are afraid to lose...something...anything...that previously brought us comfort, security, ease, manageability, or practicality. We look forward to the new thing we will acquire upon changing, yet have so much trouble letting go of what we must sacrifice to move closer to our goal. The goal could be minute or monumental- that doesn't matter. What matters is what we are leaving behind.

I'm not writing this to lure you into being an emotional pack-rat. I'm not trying to scare you away from reaching for your goals because a sacrifice is inevitable. I'm writing to help you see that what you sacrifice is precisely the thing you have acquired and therefore groomed to be the thing you give up for the next step. If you want to move up the ladder, you must take your foot off of the previous rung...no matter how long your foot rested and no matter the reason for it's long stay. It has served it's purpose and got you ready for your change.

There is no cause for fear.

You can embrace the new thing while you say a greatful and happy farewell to what got you there.

Change is good. Change is opportunity. Change is life. Life is change.

SEX: When Is The Right Time?

Here is a short and sweet article sure to help any adult*, either a novice at dating and sex or a seasoned veteran, make the appropriate and safe choice when deciding to begin a sexual relationship.

Adult: Regarding sexual activity; any person physically and emotionally mature to handle the consequences as well as benefits of embarking on a sexual relationship of any sort with any other consenting adult.

CLICK HERE TO READ ARTICLE

Calling All Couples!!

This is my plea to any couple that thinks that they may need counseling:

DO NOT WAIT UNTIL IT GETS SO BAD THAT YOU ARE READY TO THROW IN THE TOWEL!!
Sadly, I have come in contact with so many couples in my office whose last ditch effort starts at my door. Usually one of the partners is already emotionally detatched from the relationship and is coming in to appease their spouse. This is NOT the right way to tell your partner that you want to give your last breath to heal your relationship; it's a manipulation.

**IMPORTANT: We use all kinds of defense mechanisms and manipulations when we think we are not capable or allowed to set a verbal boundary about how we feel in the relationship. I understand this fully.

So, my message is this:

PLEASE DON'T WAIT FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO DIE BEFORE YOU TRY TO HEAL IT

SEEK HELP AT THE FIRST SIGN OF UNMANAGEABLE DISCORD

YOUR RELATIONSHIP WILL THANK YOU!

Welcome

Hello. My name is Karen Ray Israel and I am a psychotherapist serving Plano, Texas and the surrounding cities.
I welcome you.

My goal is to help individuals, couples, and families face their emotional issues with courage and strength while learning to grow and change in a motivating and safe environment.

When you are ready to make the necessary changes that can transform your life, I will be here to help you make it happen. Contact me for more information at karen.israel@gmail.com or at 972-989-8155.

Until then, I hope this site will be useful and enlightening.
-KRI

Let Me Be Your Teacher

What is a teacher?

First and foremost, a teacher is a friend, probably the most important friend you could have. Teachers are essential to our lives not because they’re so much smarter, older, or more knowledgeable about spirituality, but because they can see the heights of our potential, and they aren’t afraid to push us there.

When we feel like we’re below zero and still heading further south, our teachers can boost us back up and make us see things for what they really are. They believe in us when we don’t believe in ourselves anymore.

Teachers don’t help us so we’ll love them more, but they know that they are just a channel for positive energy and that the only way to truly help someone grow is to channel what is best for them. That’s why even when they tell us things that are difficult for us to hear or sometimes downright painful to realize, it can inspire us and make us feel great.

Essentially, they are simply plugging us back into positive energy. A true teacher understands that our soul already knows everything we could ever need to know, and they help reconnect that part of ourselves.

Please remember I am a teacher not because I am so much smarter, older, or more knowledgeable about spirituality or emotional growth, but because I can see the heights of your potential, and I am not afraid to push you there.

I hope for you to see me that way.

Excerpts taken from Yehuda Berg's Weekly Consciousness Tune-Up

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

What is PTSD?

PTSD, or post traumatic stress disorder is psychological disorder affecting individuals who have experienced or witnessed profoundly traumatic events. The impact of these events last considerably longer than normally expected recovery time.

Read the DSM-IV (diagnotic and statistical manual of mental disorders) criteria

Read a more user-friendly and thorough explanation of PTSD

Causes of PTSD:
Single major life-threatening events: war, act of violence, accident, disaster; prolonged series of events: bullying, harassment, abuse, or living with a violent partner.

Symptoms of PTSD:
*sleep problems including nightmares and waking early
*flashbacks and replays which you are unable to switch off
*impaired memory, forgetfulness, inability to recall names, facts and dates that are well known to you
*impaired concentration
*impaired learning ability (i.e., through poor memory and inability to concentrate)
*hypervigilance (feels like but is not paranoia)
*exaggerated startle response irritability, sudden intense anger, occasional violent outbursts
*panic attacks
*hypersensitivity, whereby every remark is perceived as critical
*obsessiveness - the experience takes over your life, you can't get it out of your mind
*joint and muscle pains which have no obvious cause
*feelings of nervousness, anxiety
*reactive depression (not endogenous depression)
*excessive levels of shame, embarrassment
*survivor guilt for having survived when others perished or for not having done more to help or save others
*a feeling of having been given a second chance at life
*undue fear
*low self-esteem and shattered self-confidence
*emotional numbness, anhedonia (inability to feel love or joy)
*feelings of detachment
*avoidance of anything that reminds you of the experience
*physical and mental paralysis at any reminder of the experience

If you identify with any of these symptoms and want to know more, please call.

There is courage in seeking help. I can help you.

You serve and protect me...Ditto.

I am creating a new niche in my practice for Police Officers, Firemen and all emergency and crisis responders who struggle with the ongoing trauma that goes along with their respected positions.

Counseling for such individuals may include post traumatic stress disorder recovery, depression and anxiety management and recovery, stress management, and family therapy.

These mentally, emotionally, and physically taxing jobs can take a tremendous toll on a person's mood and demeanor impacting job, family, and self.

There is no shame in seeking help. I can help you.

Quote of the Day

"Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent"

Eleanor Roosevelt

Lookin For Love?

Ar you a singleton trying to navigate your way through the dating pool to "the one"? If you are, and have stumbled a few times along the way, give this article a read.

READ ARTICLE

All of the main points in this article mimic my philosophy about love and how to help people find it. If any of this resonates with you and you want to find the right and healthy path to a loving relationship, call me. I can help you get there.

The Winds of Change

Here is the link to an astonishing story I just read about an official table-turning moment in our current worldwide society regarding standards of beauty.

READ THE ARTICLE

I hope that any girls, women, and even men reading this will give it some good thought.

Fight Fair...Remain A Pair

Here is the link to a Great Article I just read on MSN Lifestyles for Men. It talks about arguing and conflict resolution in marriages. They make several excellent points backed by statistical information-- we all love that!

You'll find that a lot, if not all of these suggestions, statistics, and anecdotes really resonate with you and your struggles.

If you'd like to acheive these goals, call me... I can help.

Areas of Specialty and Interest

Anger Management
Assertiveness Training
Bereavement /Grief /Loss
Childhood Sexual Abuse Victims
Co-Dependency
Depression Management and Recovery
Marriage/Couples Issues
Relationship Issues
Self-Esteem Building
Sexual Dysfunction
Trauma Recovey
Divorce Recovery
Conflict Resolution
Pain Management
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Unplanned Pregnancy/Abortion Recovery
Women's Issues
Trauma Recovery for Veterans of War

I have experience with a wide range of issues that afford me the opportunity to work with many different people. I embrace this in my practice.

I welcome you to ask any questions you may have about any of my areas of interest as well as questions pertaining to your particular issue. Being informed and feeling comfortable and secure in your therapist's abilities can help facilitate the trust necessary for you to achieve the changes you seek.

Ahh, the good ol' days...

I read a great article through my MSN health and fitness subscription. Here various doctors, researchers, and writers talk about the benefits of happy memory recall over the nasty effects of depression.
While severe depression is a serious dis-ease and calls for a comprehensive treatment plan, the maxim behind this article is uplifting and may even bring a smile to your face while reading it :)

READ THE ARTICLE

Don't Take " Pill " For An Answer

I am infuriated by the staggering number of doctors, who we might as well call pill-pushers, who add shame to the healing profession.

Please-- If you see your general medical practitioner for emotional problems, DON'T TAKE "PILL" FOR AN ANSWER!

1) Ask about how COUNSELING can help you deal with your issues and possibly bypass having to take meds altogether!
2) Ask them for a referral to a psychiatrist so you know you will be monitored by a doctor who is abreast of all the latest psychiatric research should you need med management.
3) If your general medical practitioner says nothing about therapy or dodges your inquiries, find a new one!
4) Find a doctor who has a good bedside manner and who makes it clear that they care for your well-being.

We tend to view our doctors as mentors, authority figures, and all knowing healers. We trust them implicitly. Let us not forget that we must trust ourselves as well. Question your doctors, talk to them, be inquisitive. Play a working role in your health.