What's the differnece between...an Excuse and a Reason? The answer to this question can teach you how to overcome your barriers to change and free you to take the necessary responsibility for your life.
Let's begin with the Excuse. First of all, the Excuse naturally serves to excuse us from our bad behavior. Unfortunately, there is seldom an honest excuse for that. The Excuse is our way of shrugging repsonsibility for what we said or did that hurt or offended someone-- whether intentional or not. We use the Excuse as a defense mechanism to keep from feeling appropriate guilt or shame for our wrongdoings. Based on the particular offense, this guilt or shame occurs on a continuum: from very mild to very severe. However we have offended others, or even ourselves, the healthiest thing to do is to hold ourselves accountable. This is part of being an adult.
Now, let's explore the Reason. The reason serves to explain the events that lead up to our transgression. It offers and opportunity for us, as well as others, to understand and perhaps better accept what has transpired. The Reason does not Excuse our bad behavior. Exploring the reasons behind an offense is the first step to accountability for our words and actions.
The next step is to learn from the reasons, identify patterns, pay attention to behaviors, and make the choice to change.
So, next time you make a mistake, mild or grave... will you offer an excuse? Or find the reason and become accountable?
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