Thursday, November 17, 2005

ABC's and Self-Esteem

self-esteem
n 1: a feeling of pride in yourself [syn: self-pride] 2: the quality of being worthy of esteem or respect; "it was beneath his dignity to cheat"; "showed his true dignity when under pressure" [syn: dignity, self-respect, self-regard]

We often hear of people struggling with so much in their adult lives. Career, marriage, friendships, and family life may suffer when we feel like we're not putting our best foot forward. And moreso, we may feel as if we don't even know how to do that. We sometimes lack the self-confidence, the self-assuredness, and the self-respect. We are lacking in adequate self-esteem.

This struggle does not magically rear it's ugly head one day when we least expect it. Self-esteem, or lack thereof, is something that is instilled in us from a very young age. Given any individual's history, traumas as well as huge successes shaped his/her self-image. With parental/teacher/primary caregiver guidance, reassurance, caring, love and encouragement- or lack thereof- we learned how to view ourselves. These views were then reinforced by our life experiences and eventually became a part of out internal monologue. Some children hear "you are wonderful" when their internal monologue is spoken. Others, unfortunately hear "you are stupid" or "you are not good enough". These phrases can become the thin line between success and disappointment. They can become the closing door or the opening window.

It is my wish that every child may hear "you are wonderful" when their internal monologue is spoken. And you, as parents, teachers, and primary caregivers can make this a reality. You can help the children around you seek success rather than cower in the face of disappointment. You can help them find open windows rather than closing their own doors.

Throughout college and some of graduate school, I worked for a few different daycare centers with pre-school aged children. I had the chance to work with infants up through kindergarteners, and I also had the chance to know their parents. I could tell, quite quickly and easily, which children would be progressing- socially and intellectually- and which might end up struggling. And to make this observation, I looked to their parents. The parents who were ready and interested to speak with me and the other teachers about their childrens' progress were invested in their childrens' experiences and growth as individuals- even at a place as seemingly inconsequential as daycare.

By being involved, those parents set an important precedent in their childrens' lives: We love you, care about you, and believe in you - and we are teaching you to do the same for yourself.

Be one of those parents.

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